Board Game Tango (Board Game Parody of Cell Block Tango)
This is a parody of Cell Block Tango (from Chicago) about board games. Turn on CC for lyrics in video.
Lyrics & editing by:
Ambie Valdés (@ambierona)
Special guest voices & video:
Paula Deming (@ThingsGetDicey) https://www.youtube.com/paulademing
Crystal (@CrystalDax) https://www.youtube.com/boardgameblitz
Suzanne (@425suzanne)
Monique M. (@beforeyouplay_) https://www.youtube.com/beforeyouplay
Mandi H (@boardgamerpinup) https://www.youtube.com/ToDieForGames
Eric Summerer(@EricSummerer)
Backing Track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToAeHdxYrhM
Lyrics (most of them, full ones too long for description):
Clash! Jump! Back! Opened! Upgraded! Patients!
[Eric, spoken]
And now, these six gaming gals of Board Game Media
In their rendition of ‘The Board Game Tango’
They had it coming, they had it coming
It’s gonna happen in this game
If you’d have been there, if you’d have played it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Paula, spoken]
You know how games can have these multiple victory conditions that get you down? Like... Inis. Inis is all about area control, sometimes requiring combat--no, not combat. CLASH!
So I've got a pretender token and I'm looking for a little sympathy to help me seal a Leadership win and there's my friend. Wanting to get a Religion win by moving into areas with sanctuaries, threatening me with combat--no, not combat. CLASH!
So I said to him, I said "Hey, you clash with me one more time.." And he did. So I pivoted to a Land control win and I moved two armies
Into his territory!
He had it coming, he had it coming
It’s gonna happen in this game
If you’d have been there, if you’d have played it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Crystal, spoken]
I signed on to the Galactica about two years ago and I thought I was human so I started helping right away. I even became the admiral.
I’d contribute to skill checks, make some jumps. Sure, we were low on population, low on morale, but we only had a few jumps left.
And then I found out, a Cylon here? A Cylon attack! Not only was there a Cylon now, oh no! That Cylon was me! One of those sleepers, you know?
So one round, when they least expected it, I started my turn as usual
You know, some ships just can’t handle a Super Crisis!
They had it coming, they had it coming
They didn’t notice all the signs
They kept believin’; I kept deceivin’
And so the victory was all mine!
[Suz, spoken]
Now I’m placing my workers, I’m deciding which buildings I want to use, and then here comes another player putting all of his workers way out in front on all of the new buildings.
“I’m gonna use this building!” he said. I don’t think so. And he kept on saying, “I’m gonna use this building!”
That’s when I moved the provost back.
I moved the provost back 3 times.
If you’d have been there, if you’d have played it
I betcha you would have done the same
[Monique, spoken]
I was playing it safe in Sheriff of Nottingham, making a profit little by little. But I thought maybe I should try for more. I had great contraband! If I could get this merchandise through I’d score big. So I loaded up my bag, put on my best poker face, and said, “I have 5 chickens”
But, did it go through?
No, he opened it!
[Ambie, spoken]
My husband, Toby, and I like these train games. And our friend likes to play them with us. Now, over the years we’ve played a bunch of them - ‘30, ‘49, ‘80, ‘28, ‘89, one right after the other! Well, this one time we were playing, the three of us, pushing the pace and rushing those trains. And one of my corps wasn’t looking too good, so I withheld dividends.
I checked my train, just had a 4...
There it was, I was able to upgrade it to…. the first diesel!
Well after that it was all a haze but I guess our friend had to buy a diesel out of pocket. It wasn’t until later, when I was tallying up my final score, I even knew he was bankrupt!
He had it coming, he had it coming
He had it coming long ago
I (she) didn’t mean it, but if I’d meant it
Well then you’d say that I was a pro
[Mandi, spoken]
I love Alban Viard. His designs always hurt my brain. So I was playing Clinic with my friend. But it was tough, we were always going for the same things. We’d choose actions every round and fight over everything: doctors, nurses, specialists, and modules. I guess in the end you can say it came down to turn order. He saw the patients as his
And I saw them as mine!
And then I won, won, won, won, won!
And then I won, won, won, won, won!
They had it coming, they had it coming
They had it coming long ago
Oh how we played ‘em, how we betrayed ‘em
Well you could say that we all are pros
They had it coming, they had it coming
It’s gonna happen in this game
If you’d have been there, if you’d have played it
I betcha you would have done the same!
You clash with me one more time
Cylon attack
Three times
If I could get this merchandise through!
Upgraded to the first diesel!
Turn order
Clash! Jump! Back! Opened! Upgraded! Patients!
